Ready Steady Axe March 8, 2007
Posted by Jonty Rhodes in Currently on My Nerve.trackback
I don’t know about you but there is one particular television show that is really beginning to get on my nerve. Network Ten’s Ready Steady Cook is arguably the most irritating program on our idiot boxes at the moment. And its host is arguably the most irritating idiot box on the program. Never heard of it? You’re one of the lucky ones.
Every day two of Australia’s top chefs compete, not only against each other, but also against the clock to whip up a tasty culinary delight in under 20 minutes. New contestants and celebrity guests join the chefs every day, bringing $20 of ingredients with them, and a helping hand. Bon-appetite!
Ready Steady Cook is currently in its third season and is more annoying than ever. Admittedly, there was a stage in 2005 where I’d watch the entire half hour everyday and found it quite entertaining. An avid fan of culinary programs from an early age, I was right into the concept of a cooking-come-game show. Its host at the time was RMIT media graduate Nick Stratford who made the show very entertaining. He says about himself and the role:
You need to be a talk-show host, a game-show host, a cook, a moderator and an umpire. I can talk the arm off a chair and I’m always going ‘What are you doing here, what are you doing now?’
The host has to be able to run a live competition, run a studio audience and run a chat show. It needs television skills, but it also needs a passion for cooking and a good level of knowledge about cooking.
The guy was a gun. Kitchen-savvy and witty, Ten had made the European-born Ready Steady Cook a sweet prospect.
But things turned sour when Stratford was replaced by former-Channel 9 interior designer and suggestively-apparent homosexual, Peter Everett. You may remember him from home renovation programs including Changing Rooms, Renovation Rescue and Amazing Homes for the Nine Network. Who would have thought homosexuals were into things like interior design?
Before you hear my opinion, here’s what the public thinks about the change of host.
Everett is a muppet. And I didn’t mean that literally, but come to think of it, he could probably fit in quite comfortably among some of Jim Henson’s creations. I’ve only seen about two of Everett’s facial expressions: smiling with mouth open and smiling with mouth shut. And always with that same monotonal tone.
Peter Everett comes to Ready Steady Cook with a passion for food and a passion for life. Although he counts cooking as a major hobby (he makes a great Thai salad) Peter is not a chef. He therefore “de-jargons the chef-speak”, asks lots of questions, and generally acts as a link between the audience and the professional chefs, making the show both extremely entertaining and educational.
His biography couldn’t be any further from the truth. I could possibly rephrase it to make it more accurate. In fact, I will rephrase it right now.
Peter Everett comes to Ready Steady Cook with a passion for men and a passion for bright shirts. Although he counts cooking as a major hobby (he couldn’t make a Thai salad if you paid him), Peter is unable to cook. He can’t ”de-jargon the chef-speak”, asks lots of irrelevant questions and generally acts as an annoying distraction of the audience from the professional chefs, making the show both extremely tedious and uneducational.
Far from homophobic, I will not pass judgement about Everett’s sexuality because it’s none of my business. That is, so long as he stops touching, kissing and hugging every single chef and contestant who appears on the set. He’s even begun making physical contact with every audience member sitting on the inside of the centre aisle. It’s getting out of hand. And his hands aren’t getting out of anywhere. Please stop, Peter. For hygiene’s sake, if nothing else.
But it’s not just the new host that is currently on my nerve. There is an array of other aspects that makes me disappointed in the state of Australian television.
You may or may not be familiar with the judging system on Ready Steady Cook. The winning chef is based on a majority crowd vote. Each audience member holds up either a placard of a tomato or a capsicum depending on which “team” they believe is the worthy winner. Fair enough. Good system. Good system if you actually execute it properly!
I don’t know how many people are needed to operate a television set, but I do know this much: You don’t need a girl to pretend to count each and every placard in the studio audience and then hold up a vegetable to the camera proclaiming which team is the winner. If you’re going to count the placards, count them all! Don’t pretend. We all know that you can’t count 50 placards in five seconds. So either find something else to do in the studio or quit! Take Everett’s job if you have to. And give the produce to him to handle.
Another thing: studio audience – stop over-indulging with your moans of pleasure and desire for every single dish and every single ingredient that is merely mentioned! I’m sick of hearing this sound throughout the entire description of the menus:
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Also, when Everett makes his usual predictable throw-away line about the crowd wanting to taste the dishes, don’t clap and cheer. Most of you will not get so much as a crumb. If you are a middle-aged and slightly obese female sitting in the front row, then you may be invited to try some of the prepared cuisines. But even so, why accept the offer? Does meningecoccal not exist anymore? Sometimes there’s about eight people all trying to get their fork in the same dish. Go home and make your own meal for heaven’s sake! I mean, I appreciate the value of free food. But even I would never compromise my own health to get a freebie. Just back off. And while we’re on the subject, get Ready Steady Cook off.
The new series is filled with excellent cooking ideas, cheeky fun, celebrity shows, fantastic food information and of course our talented chefs leading the charge in the kitchens. All our favourite chefs return, along with some new hot chefs we’ve added into the mix. Be watching to see our host Peter Everett and the chefs dish out tasty recipes, cooking tips and amazing ideas of how you can turn five ingredients into mouth-watering dishes in just 20 minutes.
Some constructive criticism to finish off:
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There may be some excellent cooking ideas but unfortunately the viewer never gets to see them because Everett is always getting in the way or interrupting.
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The only ‘cheeky fun’ is Peter Everett touching the chefs whenever possible. Also, don’t make sexual remarks like: “Do you want to hear my story about a cucumber?”
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The chefs are talented. Exceptionally talented. But Everett does nothing to “dish out tasty recipes, cooking tips and amazing ideas”. He’s got nothing to do with cooking. It’s the equivalent of Ernie Dingo judging Dancing With the Stars.
I seriously cannot believe you wrote this blog. You know why? Because today I was watching Ready Steady Cook and I said to my unit-mate, “I can’t stand that guy.” He knows absolutely nothing about cooking (I’m not saying I do, but I’m not trying to host a cooking show) and his dirty jokes are just yucky. I don’t want to hear all these euphemisms while trying to learn how to cook. Just shut up for a second! He seriously doesn’t do anything! He just goes from one chef to the next distracting them, and then yells, “ohhhh noooo” when the clock reaches 1 minute to go. Maybe if he let them get on with their dishes then they’d finish them in time. And that other point you mentioned with them holding up cards. That always annoyed me too!!! Sure, sometimes there might be an overwhelming majority, but the majority of the time (that’s right, two majorities in one sentence, and now that makes 3) the Red and Green cards are about even and he just goes, “……uhhhh Red wins!” It makes me as red as a tomato, and not as happy as a clam. Thanks for the blog entry. It made my day.
Certainly your best effort so far Jaunty. I enjoyed the crap out of it. I loved your rephrasing of the hosts bio. Do me next!
Great stuff.
I can’t help it; if Manu is one of the chefs – I can’t help but watch. His accent is suave and he kind of purrs. Out of some rather different mental concoction he reminds me of Ben Anderson. A Ben Anderson with an accent. A sexy one.
Ben Anderson has sex appeal.
Yeah, Ben Anderson’s sort of i-permanently-almost-have-a-cold-and-i’m-also-too-lazy-to-talk-with-
too-much-volume accent is very appealing. Hell, I’m interested. I’d like to mention that I have yet to read this blog, i’m just commenting because why not?
I’m sure among his own people, Ernie Dingo can do an adorable liddle korroborri. Don’t be so quick to judge. I hate to say this, Jon, but this guy you are talking about, the gay.. well… he reminds me of you a bit. Don’t take that the wrong way or nothin.
It’s ‘corroboree’, Crommo. Put a little bit of Latinate spelling on it, and you wouldn’t even know it’s an Aboriginal word. Like Kardinia, or Corio. Of course, colonial philologists transcribed most Aboriginal words in simple, phonetic kiddy spelling to reinforce the construction of the indigenous as intellectually and culturally backwards. (Don’t mind me, I was born in Wagga Wagga, and a piece of me dies every time I have to fill out a form requiring birth details.)
Hi, blogger. I don’t know you, but I followed a link from Robin’s blog and this post made me think of something I saw on Ready Steady Cook a while ago. Peter picked up a cucumber and the entire audience started pissing themselves. He was visibly angered, it was great!
I was watching Ready Steady Cook the other day and they were talking about the asparagus and how it was supposed to be “limp” and not “hard”. The audience loved it.
It’s so naughty! So low-brow!
Sorry, Dan. “Corroboree”.
Wagga Wagga? You poor thing. Well Gee-long, is barely any better.
ok just to make this go in a circle…Tori u know that i agree with you on most things you say and today is no different….benno with an accent could be swoon material… but come to think of it, ANYONE with a sexy accent is ok with me… I mean look at Mr Darcy’s “i’m so successful and don’t i know it” English accent. What girl in her right mind WOULDN’T swoon when u combine that with a white shirt and a swim in a pond… yes, everything leads back to that scene…..
LOL, ur comment is spot on. With so many people thinks Peter Everett sucks, why does he still have the job? Is the reason because the producer of Ready Steady Cook is gay too? Gay prioritising Gay in job promotions at Channel 10.
I love peter everett I think that he is charming and funny. I dont think it would be easy to host a show like Ready Steady Cook, because lets face it, if he talked solely about food the hole time it would get really boring. So he has to come up with conversation on the spot and I think that is not always easy. So come on the guy gives it his best, give him a break.
Me too.. I love him.. he has a refreshing personality, he’s funny and so he’s a little bit clumsy but he’s real and positive enough for me.. good to have him. I came to this country 3 years ago and saw him on tv and he cracks me up sometimes… actually I agree with Jason it’d be boring without him on the show.. imagine they had someone really critical ACTING like he knew better sounding ungrateful about everything all the time.. using put downs… kinda like many of the people on here just did.. how sickening.. Id change the channel then!!!!!!
From: B A T M A N [mailto:*********@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, 16 December 2008 3:01 PM
To: ‘readysteadycook@sstar.com.au’
Subject: Your host SUCKS
Hey guys,
Such a great show you have. The chefs are wonderful, the food is fantastic & the concept top notch.
I enjoy every aspect of your show except for that annoying buffoon of a host. Why did you get rid of the original host who showed professionalism, decorum & style?
This new twat, has made me turn off the show so often I’ve lost count. With his whiney voice, prancing movements and always at-the-wrong-time comments, it’s a wonder none of the contestants haven’t bludgeoned him to death with a mortar & pestle. He really seems to irritate & annoy the chefs as well, putting them off what they are doing nearly every show with some stupidly inappropriate half fact that the chefs then have to correct.
Normally I don’t take the time to write things like this, but I really need to know what YOU people think he offers the program. I mean, the last straw for me was watching him today ONCE AGAIN all but grope anyone within reach…. it nearly made me vomit. It’s like he has 3 pairs of hands sometimes that man… if that’s what he is.
I mean, he knows nothing about food, cooking or the culinary industry. He’s ugly, overweight & possesses a voice like fingernails down a blackboard. Why on earth did you people even give him the job? I mean, hell, if things were that desperate, bring back FAT CAT. Even with no pants on he would restore some of the dignity Everett has eroded from your otherwise highly entertaining & informative program.
Please get rid of him. I love your show & hate being put off my food by watching that imbecile each day.
Kindest Regards,
BATMAN
Food Fan.
Happy New Year Everyone!
Hope you all had a very nice Christmas & New year’s.
Actually I can’t understand how some people can be so bitter & mean towards the tv host Peter. Don’t you realise that you look so ugly when u say bad things about others? Anyway, since Peter became the tv host for RSC, it’s more entertaining and fun now to watch(I know cuz i saw the show before peter). I think it’s a good thing that he isn’t a “know-it-all” geek some of you want him to be. That’s why he can ask good questions to the chefs and connect with the audience. Best part is his lovely bubbly personality.Good on ya Peter!We love ya!
All I can say is GET RID OF THAT FAIRY EVERET !!! He absolutly makes my skin crawl with his repetitive questions that we ALL heard so many times before. Also he tells the chefs to cook something to satisfy himself !! I am so sick and tired of his constant ” YUM ” call this guy just has not grown up yet. One can just tell that most of the chefs dont like him by the dirty looks he gets from them also he asks a question from one of the chefs and immediatly yells out how much time is left over the chef answering his STUPID REPETITIVE questions HOW RUDE !!! All I have to say is bring back the other host he was more popular than this wanker.
Sorry but I must also add that Everett annoyd the hell out of me when he asks if he could help out with anything ONLY TO MAKE A GOAT OF HIMSELF so he can get a few laughs out of the audience Grrrrrrr You can tell a mile away that he is being clumsy on purpose GROW UP EVERETT you are a FOOL and GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW YOU GOT THIS JOB !!! Chanel 9 should do what chanel 10 did to you SACK YOU for playing the idiot ALL the time.Also your gay voice is so iritating and I must agree with the previous comment GO WASH YOUR HANDS !!
Oh how Peter Everet annoys me too!! Sooooooo Much and for so many reasons.
Peter Everett annoys me so much that I just had to do a search to see if he has the same effect on others. Yes he does. How long has he been the host of Ready Steady Cook? He still stumbles over his lines, can’t think on his feet. He has never relaxed or improved in all the time he has been on TV. I hate how he asks questions and doesn’t listen to the answers- Then he asks the same question again! I hate how he touches everything and everybody. They only have a short period to cook and he always lifts the pots & pans off the heat. I hate how he has no sense of others personal space, pushing himself onto and into every one. I love how everyone who appears on the show pulls away and squirms when he touches them. I just watched an episode with the Biggest Looser contestants cooking & he was so condescending. He kept saying the word “inspirational” and asked the most inappropriate questions. It was so wrong, so wrong in so many ways and so embarrassing. Ahhhhhhhhh He is soooo annoying…ahhhhhhhh