The Fables of Ryan O’Connor March 15, 2007
Posted by Jonty Rhodes in People I Know, Remember When.trackback
It is often said that making mistakes teaches us many valuable life lessons. Fortunately, not all of us have to learn by our own mistakes. Instead, we have fables. Fables make examples of other people’s mistakes to demonstrate the sorts of trouble we should avoid. Here are some of my favourites. These are The Fables of Ryan O’Connor.
The Fable of the Maths Exam and the Unfamiliar Word (2001)
One day, there was Ryan O’Connor. Ryan studied Year 9 Mathematics with Mr Hines. It had come to examination time. There was a funny looking word in one of the exam questions that Ryan had never seen before. It was the word ‘minus’. But Ryan didn’t know what this word meant, nor did he know how to pronounce it. So he asked his teacher:
Mr Hines, what does minnace mean?
Moral: Learn simple mathematical terms like ‘minus’ in primary school to avoid embarrassment in later years.
The Fable of the Vietnam Veteran and the Stupid Question (2003)
Another day, there was Ryan O’Connor. Ryan studied Year 11 Ethics with Rev. Tomlins. There was a guest speaker in the class who had come in to speak about the ethics of war. During question time, Ryan thought of an interesting question to ask the Vietnam veteran. An awkward conversation ensued:
Veteran: Feel free to ask me any questions. No question is stupid.
Ryan: Have you ever killed anyone?
Veteran (tearing up): There’s no stupid questions; only stupid people.
Ryan: Have you?
Moral: Don’t ask sensitive questions to war veterans. And especially don’t pursue them if they get an obvious negative response.
The Fable of the Research Task and the Inappropriate Website (2003)
Once upon a time, there was Ryan O’Connor. Ryan studied Year 11 Legal Studies with Mrs Smith. It was time to start researching internet sources for an assignment. Ryan thought Josh Gibson’s personal website about basketball, cars and scantily-clad women would be a good place to start. But for some reason, when Miss Tait saw the half-naked woman sprawled across a sports car the width of the screen, she didn’t approve.
I was just reading it!
Moral: Don’t access Josh Gibson’s website for information about the law. Don’t access Josh Gibson’s website full stop.
The Fable of the Legal Studies SAC and the Blatant Cheat (2004)
One day, there was Ryan O’Connor. Ryan studied VCE Legal Studies with Mrs Smith. It happened to be the day of a SAC or School Assessed Coursework. To help him pass the SAC, Ryan had the bright idea of writing all his notes onto his palm so he didn’t have to commit anything to memory. But during the SAC, he raised his hand to ask Mrs Smith a question. But the silly boy - he raised the hand with the notes on it! And Mrs Smith caught him out cheating!
I wasn’t cheating. It was just to help me remember the answers.
Moral: Don’t write cheat notes on your hand. And if you have to, don’t show the teacher.
To be fair, the veteran did say “feel free to ask me any question”, and then refused to answer. Other than that Ryan sounds like an unwilling source of endless amusement. Tip of the cap to you both. PS, what are you doing for tea tonight? (Thursday night).
And to be honest, a little disappointed at the lack of scantily clad females on that link provided.
Bwaha. Funny stuff. Good blog. Your site is coming along nicely.
Ha!
What happened to your Nazi poem?
Unfortunately, it was forcibly removed by the webmaster.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Why, if you weren’t the webmaster and general overlord of our little online domain….
What? Sif? Was Crommo’s comment edited. Is there a webmaster?? WTF is going on w/ blogs????